Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Daddy's 40th day

It has been 40 days since Daddy passed away.  Family and friends have been asking how we are holding up.  Well, there are good days and bad. . .and there are worse.  Until this day, everything seems unreal.  At home, it feels like he is still there. .  just in another room.  

One time, I was at the mall and I suddenly thought of buying hopia (just like I always do) because it is Daddy's favorite snack.  He's going to be happy with his pasalubong!  Then it hit me that Daddy isn't here anymore (physically, that is).  Sometimes, it only takes little things like this to remind me that he is really gone.      

There are days when we remember the things we planned on doing but we weren't able to, the "if onlys", lots of "I wish" and the "what could have beens".  And personally, I had to deal with some "regrets".  All of us have our own way of dealing with the pain, the grief, the loss.  

But there is one thing that we all do. . . we celebrate him everyday.  We talk about him . . .we talk to him!  We remember how he lived his life, how he made us laugh, how he took good care of us. . .how much love he has shown us.

What is life like when you lose someone you love?  

It hurts. . . and it is life changing.

You learn to be strong, to keep the faith (always), you learn to appreciate (more) the people you love and who love you.  You value each day you live and make the most of it.  You learn not to take each day for granted because life can throw you a curve ball and surprise you.

We started going through his personal things and we saw a letter which he sent to us when they went overseas for a trip (when I was 12 years old).  He wrote a message for each of us (my siblings and I). In it, he asked me how my "slimming lessons" are. . . (not swimming. . .slimming!)  and if I lost weight already, hahaha!  Daddyyyy!!! Oh well, some things never change!

Daddy, we miss you everyday.  And I know we are going to miss you and think of you everyday of our lives.  We love you so much! 

And that will never change. 

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