"Smart Responses to Stupid Hirits" - Cosmo Philippines Sept 05 issue

I've never been thin in my life. . . well except during the latter part of my Senior year in highschool. To prepare for our graduation, I went on a diet and only ate crackers, apple or tuna sandwich. And yes, I did loose some weight . . . only to gain them back years after, haha!

People would tell me. . ."You know you're pretty. . .BUT you're chubby" or "you'll be prettier if you loose more weight". One person even asked me if I had hormonal problems because I gained weight! Aaaaarrggh! Can I be excused and be a biyatch sometimes?! heehee.

But being the nice person that I am, I learned to bite my tongue (but wishing that I can come up with something smart to say!).

I'm sure we have all encountered situations (like those listed below) in our lives where we meet insensitive people (aka mga taklesa!). So I hope the article below will help us in the future. . . if the need arises, haha! (I'm bracing myself because after giving birth and having gained some more . . . you wouldn't know what to hear next . . . but this time, I'll be ready! Haha!)

Below is a re-post of an entry which I wrote a couple of years ago for my old blog regarding this topic.

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I just want to share with you an article ("Smart Responses to Stupid Hirits") I read from an old Cosmo magazine (Sept 05 issue) I've seen during my spring cleaning. . . . I'm sure we all have encountered a tactless person in our lives! Some people just don't believe in the mantra, "if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say anything at all"! I don't know how you handle it but in my case, well, I just handle it with a smile. . .I really wish I can be b****y sometimes! hahaha!!!

Here you go. . . .The "hirits" are in bold letters.

LOVE LESSONS

"O ba't wala ka pang boyfriend?" - Eh ba't ikaw meron pa rin? Tsk, tsk, tsk (with a very sad, disapproving face)

"So when are you getting married? - "After you"

"Hah? Why'd you break up?" - "His loss. He decided to give up the only thing good about him"

"Ba't siya? You can definitely do better" - "Oo nga, you're right. So how do you survive with (name of person's bf/husband)? Any tips?"

"You're always together. Nagiging magkamukha na kayo" - "Whew, buti na lang may itsura siya!"

ALL IN A DAY'S WORK

You know, you look like (some so-unattractive person) - "Oo nga eh, buti na lang new and improved version"

"That's what you do for a living?" - "Inggit ka?" or "Yup, it's so fun to be shallow talaga!"

"With that salary?! How in the world can you survive?" - "Why? Can't you survive with yours?"

"Is this what you call a report/proposal?" - "It's actually based on your astounding, expert example"

"I knew you couldn't do it" - "I know you couldn't either"

TOO FEELING CLOSE FOR COMFORT

"Alam mo, papayat/pataba/paputi/paitim ka nga!" - "Atleast pretty, di ba?" or "Tara, sabay tayo!"

"Uy, di kita nakilala. Anong nangyari sa iyo?" - choose among the three!

- "Ikaw, parehong-pareho pa rin" / "Eto, gumanda" / "Excuse me, do I know you?"

"You should try my derma/acne soap/breath freshener - parang you need it" - "I'm scared, mukhang hindi effective eh"

DURING EVERYDAY ENCOUNTERS

"Ma'm bili na kayo, may double XL po kami" - "Ay sayang, medium lang ako eh" or "Buti merong size mo"

"Miss, ano? Bibili ba kayo?" (impatient sales person) - "Bakit? Naiinip ka na?"

"Hey! I love your new pants/top, but parang kulang ka talaga sa butt/boobs" - "Thanks, hirap kasi to have a model's body eh"

"Ganda nyan ah. I have one exactly like it." - "Does it look good on you too?"