A Father's Day Post for Hubby

How was your weekend?  Ours was beautiful and fun-filled because we celebrated two special occasions.  First, we had a family get together for our Princess' 5th Birthday and second, we celebrated Father's Day with a simple lunch at our favorite BBQ place.

So to honor this special man in our lives, I did a picture collage of him and the kids and posted it in FB and wrote:

"Thank you for showing your love in the simplest things"

(It's true.  If there is one word that would describe him, it would be "simple".  He may be a man of few words but he never fails to show us that he loves us everyday.)
 

Since Hubby doesn't access his FB regularly, I told him that I posted something in FB for him!
*me, feeling giddy*

So after seeing it. . .

Hubby: Baby, bakit laging nakatalikod ako?

Then I remembered what I posted last year for Father's Day (pls. see below)

Hahaha!  And then I laughed out some more when I realized that in the other picture in the collage above, he was wearing an Iron Man mask!

But I have to say something about that!

Me:  Para medyo artsy ang dating di ba, dramatic! =)

Hubby: Ano ang dramatic sa hindi kita ang mukha?

LOL

All these time that we are having this conversation, he was saying everything with a straight face!
Haha!  And if you ask me what is one thing I love about him, he just makes me laugh without trying hard!

So Sweetheart, I owe you a full frontal picture!  And I want to share it with everyone who reads this blog, haha!

HAHAHA!  

I know you hate this picture and probably you'll hate me more for posting this. . . but I do know you love me (SO MUCH!) that you actually won't mind. Haha!

Happy Father's Day!  

We love you Daddy!

The Hardest Pasalubong to Find!

A couple of Sundays, my sister and I had to (wanted to! ) go to the mall (something I miss doing with her since I moved to LA last year).  The kids had to stay home (Woohoo!  Freeedommm!  Haha!) because it was their nap time.  I told the Princess that  I will just get her a pasalubong (which means gift).

Me: What pasalubong do you want?

Princess: A Baby

My thought bubble: Great, another doll!

P: A Baby . . . Sister!

Me: Huh? (Wasn't sure if I heard it right)

P: I want a baby sister!

Me: Okay, we have to wait for you Papa then!  (She didn't ask why, haha, so I didn't have to explain to her what I meant. . . not now.  We will get there!)

After three hours. . .we were back home and as soon as she saw me at the door. . .

P:  Where's my baby sister?  Did you get my baby sister?  I want a baby sisterrrr!

Huney, I think it's time. . . . to get her a Baby Alive!  Haha!

The Princess meeting her baby brother for the first time! (2013)

Daddy's 40th day

It has been 40 days since Daddy passed away.  Family and friends have been asking how we are holding up.  Well, there are good days and bad. . .and there are worse.  Until this day, everything seems unreal.  At home, it feels like he is still there. .  just in another room.  

One time, I was at the mall and I suddenly thought of buying hopia (just like I always do) because it is Daddy's favorite snack.  He's going to be happy with his pasalubong!  Then it hit me that Daddy isn't here anymore (physically, that is).  Sometimes, it only takes little things like this to remind me that he is really gone.      

There are days when we remember the things we planned on doing but we weren't able to, the "if onlys", lots of "I wish" and the "what could have beens".  And personally, I had to deal with some "regrets".  All of us have our own way of dealing with the pain, the grief, the loss.  

But there is one thing that we all do. . . we celebrate him everyday.  We talk about him . . .we talk to him!  We remember how he lived his life, how he made us laugh, how he took good care of us. . .how much love he has shown us.

What is life like when you lose someone you love?  

It hurts. . . and it is life changing.

You learn to be strong, to keep the faith (always), you learn to appreciate (more) the people you love and who love you.  You value each day you live and make the most of it.  You learn not to take each day for granted because life can throw you a curve ball and surprise you.

We started going through his personal things and we saw a letter which he sent to us when they went overseas for a trip (when I was 12 years old).  He wrote a message for each of us (my siblings and I). In it, he asked me how my "slimming lessons" are. . . (not swimming. . .slimming!)  and if I lost weight already, hahaha!  Daddyyyy!!! Oh well, some things never change!

Daddy, we miss you everyday.  And I know we are going to miss you and think of you everyday of our lives.  We love you so much! 

And that will never change. 

Thank you Mommy!

Today is the first Mother's Day which we are going to celebrate without Daddy.  Mom didn't just lose a husband, she also lost her bunso (it means youngest in the family).  That is actually our private joke at home, that Dad is actually Mom's bunso, haha!  Do you know what is the last word my father said before he passed away?  It was "Mommy". . . that's how he calls called her.  (I still have to get used to using the past tense for Daddy!)  It only shows how much he wanted her to be by his side all the time. . . especially when he got sick.  Yes, Daddy can be a big baby.  There is something magical (healing even) about Moms ano?  Their mere presence, their touch, their hugs comfort us and make us feel better.    

My father was a fearless man but during the last year of his life (that is when he started his dialysis treatment), he drew strength from my Mom.  She took care of him, was so patient with him (Dad can be in a crappy mood sometimes), she just never gave up on him.  She was living their wedding vows . . . "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, 'til death do we part" .  

Mommy. thank you very much for the utmost love, care and devotion you have always given to all of us.  You inspire me to be a strong woman.  Always remember that we are here for you and that we love you dearly. 

I saw this video for the first time last year and it still never fails to make me cry. 

Happy Mother's Day to *everyone! 

(*Because all of us can be "Moms" in different ways) 

Missing Daddy

Dearest Daddy,

I couldn't remember when was the last time I wrote a letter to you.  I love writing letters when I was growing up but then my life got busier as I got older that I've stopped doing it.  So here I am, writing one (after a long time) to you because I miss you so much!  Please, please visit me in my dreams.  I miss talking to you.  

It's been four days since we laid you to rest in your new home.  There were lots of family and friends who came to see you for the last time.  The love and support from everyone was overwhelming.  Do you know what was the hardest thing we had to do that day?  It was looking at you for the last time and saying goodbye.  

The thought that I cannot hold or touch you anymore pains me.  One of the things I'll miss most is holding your hands.  Holding them always give me a feeling of being loved and being safe.  They are the hands of a hardworking man yet they're soft and smooth like a woman's.  I wish I was holding them that day you left us.    Now, I can only hold on to the good memories we have shared.  Thank you for giving them to me because they comfort me when I feel heartbroken.

A friend said that we never really overcome the death of a loved one, we just learn how to cope with the loss and the pain.  We are still getting used to not seeing you at home.  It feels strange actually. We are trying to be strong but sometimes we have our "moments" then our emotions get the better of us. 

C (a friend of mine) went to visit me at home the day we buried you.  Just as she was about to leave our house, she told me that she felt your presence (she has a gift) because the hair on her arms and nape rose.  I was sooo happy to hear that because it meant you were with us.  When she told me you were at the pasillo (hallway), I knew it was really you!  C didn't know that part of the house was actually one of your favorite spots.  Oh Daddy!!!   You haven't stopped thinking about us.  Thank you for watching over us.  I know you worry about us but we will be okay.  It is time for you to rest. 

We love you very much  Daddy . . . we miss you and we always think about you everyday.

Love, 
A

The Saddest Day in my Life

These past few days have been . . . heart wrenching to say the least.  I haven't cried this much in my life.  I have been crying so much for the past two days that my eyes have run dry.  But then when I remember that I won't get to see and talk (no more hugs and kisses) to the first man I've loved, the tears just start coming again.

My dad passed away yesterday and it hurts. . . A LOT.  I wasn't ready to let him go.  He passed away just when we got back to LA last Thursday.  It hurts that I wasn't there when it happened.  I had to deal (still do) with so many feelings. . . denial, regrets, guilt.  There's a certain emptiness in my life right now.

So I will be taking a blogging break.. . . but I promise I'll be back.  

To honor my father, I've listed down some blog posts which I've written in the past about him.  He has left so many wonderful memories which makes writing his eulogy a little bit harder.

I hope that through these posts, you get to know a little bit about him. . . this man who taught me valuable lessons in life and who helped me to become the person that I am today.

I miss you Daddy (so bad). . . .I'll be home to see you for the last time.

I love you. . . you will forever live in my heart. 

Our Modern Bahay Kubo

Jaihouse Rock

Lolo's Girl

Happy Birthday Daddy

Life with Toddlers: Of Princesses and Witches

"Mama, pls. tell me a story".  

Our little girl loves it when I tell her fairy tale stories!  But sometimes, I am just so tired from doing things the whole day (I am a stay-at-home mom) that I am so sleepy even before THEIR bedtime! Haha!  But I do try my best to tell her one and I start my storytelling pretty good.  Then my eyes get heavy and I find myself switching characters from other fairy tales!  Cinderella becomes the girl who has seven dwarfs as friends and Rapunzel becomes the beautiful princess who fell asleep because she pricked her fingers, haha!

The other day, I wanted to make up for my sleeping beauty times that when she asked me for a story, I was ready!  I was excited. . .I was full of life!

She wanted to hear about the story of Ariel, the Little Mermaid.

Me: Once upon a time. . . 

As I went on, I asked her to help me with the characters.

Me: "So Ariel went to the ship and saw a handsome boy whose name is. . . 

Princess: "Papa!" (How sweet!) 

Me: This boy also has a pet dog.  What's the name of his dog?

Princess: :"Cobo" (his little brother---why am I not surprised? haha)

Then I reached the part of the story where Ariel went to see a witch because she wants to have feet to be with the boy he loves.  She has watched this Disney cartoon a million times that I'm kind of sure that she knows the witch's name (Ursula).

Image from www.praxistheatre.com

Me:  What is the name of the sea witch?

Princess: YOU!!!!

Me: Jaw drops

And she repeated it a few more times as I went on with the story!  

And it doesn't stop there.  Because apparently, I was also the Evil Queen in Snow White's story and I was Maleficent too when we were talking about Sleeping Beauty.  Well, she said so.

Is this payback time?! Haha!

So I am Mama, the sea witch, the evil queen!

But you know what, I am one witch that she loves to hold hands with, that she wants to sleep with, one that she can't stay away from! =)

And in the future, when she grows up, I am sure she's going to say the same thing. . . I am a witch and she would actually MEAN IT!